Pen-pricks

• NBC is beset by low ratings for the Japan Olympic Games even though the network arranged key events to align with U.S. prime time viewership. Millions of Americans have personal rooting interests to our nation’s Olympians. An ex-girlfriend of mine is on the U.S. Conclusion Jumping team.

• South Korean bars are now selling Happy Balloons filled with either helium or nitrous oxide for five dollars a balloon. The drinkers inhale the balloons as a chaser to give their drinks an added boost of giggles. Helium addiction is just horrible because no one takes their cries for help seriously.

• Heineken Zero debuted on grocery store shelves this week, riding the recent wave of popularity for non-alcoholic beer. It promises the same great taste of beer without the effect of alcohol. If I remember right, drinking beer for the taste and not the buzz is like growing marijuana for the shade.

• House Republicans charged that Critical Race theory immerses kids in Marxism. The games kids play will turn them into capitalists anyway. Musical chairs is a kids game that teaches school kids to seize what’s theirs and beat up anyone who tries to take it away from them, set to music.